That’s right. We fall head-over-heels in love with the inner sanctums featured in show home parades and professionally-staged condominiums. We do not, however, inhabit them. Instead, we decorate and re-decorate kids’ rooms and public spaces while keeping our own bedroom walls outfitted in builder-grade paint (and our doors shut tight).

Calgary romance writer CJ Carmichael does not have this problem. Knowing the space is shared and convinced “guys don’t like to have really feminine rooms,” the author of more than 25 Harlequin Super Romance novels has a bedroom that welcomes her and her significant other. With rich, camel-coloured walls and a much-loved chaise lounge covered with a deep burgundy tapestry, the room exudes warmth and comfort.

This is a space where details matter, says Carmichael. That’s why all of the lights in the bedroom and ensuite bath are on dimmers and why she allows movies, but no television. (Even the DVD player is a relatively recent addition.) Her one electronic must—a CD player and easy-listening music, including a copy of her latest-favourite CD, Reckless Valentine, by Canadian crooner Marc Jordan. 

And that chaise lounge is not merely for looks. Like the clawfoot tub in Carmichael’s ensuite bath, the chaise is a favourite place to relax and recharge while dreaming up the lives of those who populate her romance novels.

The creative inspiration of her own bedroom aside, Carmichael admits her heroines do not necessarily inhabit similar spaces. Indeed, this where fiction meets reality: the leading lady in one of latest books is an all-work-and-no-play kind of girl, with the utilitarian bedroom to match it.

Size matters … in beds
Leslie Chevalier of Edmonton’s Chevalier Design says it’s time homeowners took charge of the bedroom, beginning with the bed. A few years ago, she and her husband ended up in the honeymoon suite of a hotel, and one night in that king-sized bed convinced Chevalier that size matters.While her own home, built in 1912, was not designed to accommodate a bed that big, Chevalier used the basic rules of scale to make it work in the space.

In layman’s language: she got what she wanted by getting rid of what she didn’t need. The room now features a king-sized bed, one dresser and two bedside tables with a lamp on each. Her one rule of thumb: start with the bed and add pieces that fit. “Rather than buying a suite of furniture, I would suggest that people buy a bed with a mattress that you love and then try and figure out what your needs are.”

Anchors away
Besides a great mattress (which quality companies will let you test-and-return until you find the one you love), the master bed needs a headboard, says Adene Lucas of Accent on Design in Calgary. A headboard “anchors the room and gives (the bed) some presence.” A certified “redesigner” who loves the challenge of working with what people already have, Lucas often shows clients how to add a headboard to an existing bed. And regardless of whether that bed is old or new, one essential truth about headboards holds steady: “The bigger the better,” notes Lucas. You can pare down other accessories and furniture to simplify the look, but “you can go crazy with the headboard.”

Behind closed doors
Convinced that homeowners have to embrace the idea that “it’s not frivolous to have a nice master bedroom,” Lucas is a big proponent of making the master bedroom a retreat-style space. From where she sits, the quickest and most cost-effective do-overs begin by editing out what doesn’t belong, with TVs, kid stuff and computers leading the list. If you’ve got to have a television in the master suite, invest in an armoire or cabinet you can use to hide it away.

When it comes to wall colour, decorator Delores Montpetit says there’s nothing more romantic than colours that are dark and warm. Since it takes two to really romance up a space, gender neutrality is also important, as is personal taste.

show your true colours
Montpetit’s own B.C. condo features a master suite in Benjamin Moore’s Rhapsody Red. A lime green pillow and coverlet blanket play up the masculinity of the dark furniture, while white floor-length curtains and a white bedding set with red accents adds to the coherency—and fun. But that playfulness isn’t for everyone. While grey is typically considered a cool colour, Montpetit had a client who associated a particular shade of grey with the housecoat her late father wore when he rocked her as a child. Working that colour into her bedroom palette made the space more romantic because it helped evoke the emotional experience of comfort.

prepare to pamper
Bedding is another way to work colour and luxury into the bedroom. Montpetit’s advice: “Buy the best that you can afford, be really particular about the colour … and don’t put anything in there that you don’t love.” A quilt that’s one size too small, or a duvet colour that’s not-quite-right, will frustrate you every time you enter the room.

“I understand the bed-in-the-bag kind of thing is much less expensive than going custom,” Chevalier says, noting if the skirt doesn’t fit or the sheets don’t stay put, the romance won’t translate. If custom-made bedding isn’t an option, Lucas suggests hiring a good tailor to transform a beautiful sheet set into a proper duvet cover. “You owe it to yourself,” notes Lucas.

TIPS TO LOVE:  Designers dish on sexy secrets
-Buy art you love and wake to something beautiful.
-If dimmer switches aren’t an option, add bedside lamps with tri-light bulbs.
-Contain your clutter. Keep laundry in the closet and books in a basket.
-Fake a larger window with over-sized window treatments.

ENSUITE In-spa-ration
Heated floors and towel racks, warm, gender-neutral wall colours, dimmer switches and votive candles around the bathtub are a few details interior decorator Delores Montpetit uses for clients redesigning master ensuites.
To learn more about how to bring the spa experience home, we went to the experts at an Asian-inspired full-service spa. Calgary’s The Spa Ritual also educates clients about ways to bring the spa experience home.
Taste. Think tea over alcohol. While there’s no substitute for the The Spa Ritual’s formal Japanese tea ceremony, the spa does offer a takeaway collection of blended herbal teas as well.
Smell. The Spa Ritual sweetens Alberta’s dry winter air with a diffuser that mists the breathe-easy scent of eucalyptus. Its professionals also recommend using their lemon grass-scented soy-based candles or aroma oils.
Sight.  If there’s a take-home message in The Spa Ritual’s décor, it’s that colour and light matter. Warm hues are relaxing and while bright lights may be key to morning rituals, low light calms you.
Sound.  Soothing music and running water mask environmental noise and ease quiet thought, so rejuvenate with soft tunes and a fountain.
Touch.  Carry the sensation of a warm bath outside the ensuite with moisturizers, a plush robe and slippers and massage oils. Consider adding a Warm Buddy™ to your bed. Plush animals with a microwaveable inner heat pack, these little pals are cuter (and more cuddly!) than an old-fashioned hot water bottle.