The same thing applies to the romantic meal. You might immediately think of oysters, chocolate-covered strawberries and champagne, but what really counts is not whether you include a purported aphro­disiac or how many hours you spent slaving over a hot stove. It’s more important to pay attention to what your date really loves and cater the meal to their desires.

“Maybe they’re a donut freak. You could put out pounds of oysters and it wouldn’t really be special to them, but a plate of fresh donuts might mean a lot,” says chef Wade Sirois, owner of Infuse Catering.

Josey Vogels, national sex columnist and author of Bed­side Manners: Sex Etiquette Made Easy, concurs. “You can avoid making it a tired old cliché. Sharing food can be a really sexy and romantic thing to do for Valentine’s Day—the goal is to create a more intimate experience.”

Sensuality, togetherness and fun play a big part in the success of a Valentine’s Day meal, and these elements can be introduced in a variety of ways.

Many foods can be sensual, especially when eaten (or fed to each other) with your hands. Rebekah Pearse, owner of Nectar Desserts, explains that touch and temperature play an important role in the sensuality of a food. Dishes that are textural, drippy or must be licked (like ice cream), foods that are dunked, spread or poured and anything that can be shared top her list of sensual foods for a romantic night.

Pearse and Sirois agree that no matter the menu, the experience should be indulgent in some way—whether that means a night with no kids, a food you would not normally eat, a special wine or cushions on the floor in front of a roaring fire.

Vogels believes that although it’s easy to become cynical about the holiday, couples should at least take the opportunity to devote time to their mate.

“It’s one day a year when you’re almost required to lavish some attention on your partner,” she says. “Whether that’s the first date or 25 years in, it’s nice that it’s one day a year.”

Though you might be tempted to choose a complicated recipe or go all-out on setup, the experts agree that it’s not worth stressing yourself out and that it is more important to spend time with your date rather than putting the finishing touches on the soufflé.

“People worry too much about creating this splashy kind of thing,” says Vogels. “It should be about focusing on the other person. It shouldn’t be something you’re stressed out about, and you’ve been running around all day—that takes the focus away from your partner.”

Sirois confesses he has made this mistake in the past, but has come to realize it’s better to either serve a dish you’ve prepared beforehand, or prepare the meal together and do something relaxing while it cooks, and then enjoy the fruits of your labours. A roast chicken with the vegetables in the roasting pan is a nice option for this type of meal.

Sirois’s recipe for Pomegranate Braised Lamb Shanks with Walnut Braising Reduction (see recipe on page 64) is a great choice as it’s not time-sensitive—the longer it cooks, the more flavour it takes in and the more tender it becomes.

Interactive meals of any sort, whether it is make-your-own pizzas or ice creams sundaes, antipasto or a dessert buffet, up the fun factor while ensuring togetherness.

Pearse confirms that pacing overall is crucial, and explains that dessert can be strategically timed. “I find dessert is great for extending an evening. You take a little pause after dinner and then have almost another meal, but one that is less about the consumption of food and has more of a social aspect.”

To wow your date with dessert, Pearse recommends her Flourless Chocolate Cake (see recipe on previous page), an indulgent, chocolate-lovers' dream which is great for gar­nishing and can be easily tailored to different portions.

And how to set the mood? If you’ve gone to the trouble of preparing or gathering your partner’s favourite foods, you surely don’t need to worry about losing points for presentation—but then again, it can’t hurt to dress things up a bit.

While Pearse and Vogels recommend a simple setup, with cushions, candles (tip: check the burning time on your votives to ensure they won’t go out in the middle of the meal), a set table or dimmed lights, Pearse also suggests making it clear it is a special occasion.

Sirois suggests an ethnic theme, such as Moroccan or Asian, which might involve dishes made in advance which can be eaten with the hands—adding couples can even include corresponding decor and clothing to go with the theme.

For ideas, Pearse likes the classic Joy of Cooking, while Sirois finds French bistro fare very comforting and recommends The Balthazar Cookbook or Anthony Bourdain’s Les Halles Cookbook.

If you can handle cooking the meal but don’t feel up to tackling dessert, Nectar Desserts makes a great after-dinner dessert desti­nation. This Valentine’s Day, they will be serving profiteroles (little chocolate mousse-filled, chocolate-coated creampuffs which will be served with hot chocolate sauce), and there is always a delicious selection of treats in store.  NL